RE: The Front Page

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
05/14/2016 at 12:25 • Filed to: None

There are certain things that I can tolerate. Opening Jalopnik and finding a big purple dildo advertisement staring me (and anyone behind me) in the face is not one of them. You can dress it up as a classical painting if you want, but it’s still crass and unacceptable on what amounts to a PG website.

DISCUSSION (32)

JR1 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:30

Yeah not totally sure what the bloggers were thinking there.

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:32

If you “follow” Jalopnik, you can use your Kinja Dashboard as your front page. Problem solved.

I’ve had my dashboard bookmarked for a while now, and I can’t remember the last time I actually visited jalopnik.com. All the latest posts show up on my feed automatically.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > JR1
05/14/2016 at 12:33

They were thinking “Look how much money Adam & Eve are giving us for posting this!”

Sam > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:36

Yeah, it's bad. Like really, really bad.

JR1 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:36

Yeah I guess they just don't care about their readers NSFW worries

BJ > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:39

* rushes off to front page in search of a good deal *

Meh, it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t a “featured” post, so the image is still pretty small.

If you’re browsing at work, use an ad blocker. Or avoid the front page at work...

E92M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:40

Would you be happy paying a $20 a month membership fee to access Jalopnik (ad free)? This is provided to us for free. Gawker makes money on selling ad spots. That’s how this works.

Personally I was growing tired of the Me-Undies ads, and welcome new ones.

tromoly > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:41

I blocked the entire sidebar months ago with AdBlock Plus, never deal with that stuff. Though I may be looking into Greasemonkey or another script to change the page code so I get that 1/3rd of the screen back for main articles.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > E92M3
05/14/2016 at 12:44

I’m okay with ads. I’m not okay with pictures of marital aids on a car website.

E92M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:49

I’m sure the intended audience is Jezebel females. The ads are cycled thru the various subsites.

PS: They aren’t just for married people.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > E92M3
05/14/2016 at 12:52

It’s called a “euphemism”.

E92M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 12:57

On second thought, perhaps we are the intended audience. Since we’re all compensating for something with our cars.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > E92M3
05/14/2016 at 12:58

They’re for our wives because we spend so much time in the garage.

My X-type is too a real Jaguar > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:02

*****Cough Ad Block Plus Firefox and Chrome extension Cough*****

Birddog > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:02

Just like every other business the thinking is “F—k them we’ll get more people”. There’s no loyalty to long timers, it’s about the uniques.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > My X-type is too a real Jaguar
05/14/2016 at 13:04

*cough no extensions on mobile cough*

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:06

Yeah. Gawker media needs to get control of who they sell ad space to.

Sam > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:09

Garage sex would be rather dangerous. Make sure to use jackstands.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
05/14/2016 at 13:31

They’re probably desperate for any money they can get lately.

CaptDale - is secretly British > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:47

That is why I use an ad blocker at work.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:51

That’s true.

Danger > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 13:57

How do gawker sites qualify as PG? There are SWEARS in some headlines.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 14:03

Didn’t see it initially and had to really look for it when I went back after seeing this post. I guess I was distracted by the mighty Dodge Rampage that was pictured right below.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Danger
05/14/2016 at 14:06

Seen PG movies lately? Some swears allowed.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 14:09

MEET THIS PURPLE DILDO, ONE OF OUR REAL STARS OF INSTAGRAM WITH ITS MAGNANIMOUS SOMETHING RATHER ALSO HERE’S A BREATHALYZER THAT REALLY WORKS FOR THOSE TODAY’S MOBILE ALCOHOLIC

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/14/2016 at 15:13

AND NO, WE WILL NOT PULL ITS SEX TAPE BECAUSE WE HAVE JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 15:19

BUT THE FAPPENING MUST BE CONDEMNED I DON’T CARE HOW INCONSISTENT WE ARE

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Danger
05/14/2016 at 15:26

Once in a while there is an article about having sex in cars, but for the most part Jalopnik is family friendly.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/14/2016 at 15:32

IT’S OK THIS TIME BECAUSE IT’S A MAN THATS GETTING HUMILIATED NOT A BEAUTIFUL MAJESTIC DAUGHTER OF MOTHER GAIA.

yamahog > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/14/2016 at 16:10

Are you talking about the same media outlet that offered cash for un retouched Lena Dunham nudes?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > yamahog
05/14/2016 at 16:12

It depends on whether or not it’s a celebrity they tell us to like or not. For example: Jennifer Lawrence vs Gwyneth Paltrow.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > yamahog
05/14/2016 at 16:19

WE DON’T CARE HOW INCONSISTENT WE ARE